So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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