did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
