Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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