I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
