Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
