I hate all girls vehemently.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
