nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
