I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize