there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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