It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she pinky promised me she was 18
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
