so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize