i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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