Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There's always time for handjobs
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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