marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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