you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize