maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
