Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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