We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
