shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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