you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
is wine microwaveable?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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