You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
