Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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