I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just cut my nipple shaving
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i need some magic done to my vagina
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize