Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
