How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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