tell your sister to shave her snatch
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
