There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
