no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
