curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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