Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Terrible idea I love it
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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