OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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