he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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