I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
