2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
