i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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