The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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