The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
