What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
