My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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