Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
