dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just googled if crying burns calories
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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