I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
