Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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