Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
