Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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