I wannas sexs uuuuu
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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