I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
