his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
