i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize