Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
