What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
