you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
