If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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