If that was your dad, he is hot
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If I had your ass I would rule the world
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
