Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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