I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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