So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
