i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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