OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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