please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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