he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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