D3 body, D1 cock
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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