Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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