Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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