i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize