I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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