didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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