how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
