Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
