everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
