alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize