I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
