he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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