Kiss
Puke
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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