Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
