somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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