What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
