is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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