I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
