one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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