Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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