I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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