I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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