so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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