Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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