Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize