I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize