My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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