She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
